If you have been in a long-distance relationship before and quit before you even started, this post is for you. 

When it comes to any relationship, not just long-distance, it’s important to know if the other person is willing to invest in the relationship. 

Sometimes it’s too late to figure that out. 

So, if you’re starting a new long-distance relationship or this is your first one, these Long-distance Relationships 20 questions will reveal a lot about your relationship. 

And will help you to see if the long-distance relationship is for you. 

But most importantly, if you’re willing to further along in this relationship. 

Let’s dive in. 

long distance relationship questions to find out

What should long-distance couples talk about?

In almost every blog post that I write, I’ll always say the same thing. 

It doesn’t matter what you talk about, whether you just started long-distance or you have been in one for a while now. 

The most important thing is how you both communicate together. 

Is it working for you both or not? 

There are more things to discuss first before answering that question. 

Whether that is doing long-distance is meant for you, or, do you feel something is missing? 

READ MORE: 10 Solutions If You’re Running Out Of Things To Talk About In Long Distance Relationship

READ MORE: Daily Talk or Not: The Long-Distance Dilemma

Long distance Relationship 20 Questions to figure out if you’re meant to be 

1- Beginning of relationship 

  • What were your thoughts on the first few months of your long-distance relationship?
  • What are your expectations regarding your level of commitment to each other?
  • How can you make your long-distance partner feel loved, supported, and valued in a long-distance relationship?

It’s important to approach these questions with openness and care. And most importantly, be honest about how you feel regarding how it’s going. 

2- Communication 

  • Do you think you communicate well? If not, how can you both fix them?
Commuincation in long-distance relationship

You won’t believe it, but most long-distance relationships fail either because of a lack of communication or not because the other person does not even realize it’s the problem. 

Take your time and try different types of communication to see what works for you and what doesn’t. 

READ MORE: Long Distance Relationship Conversation Ideas: Connecting Deeper For New Couples

3- Regarding friends 

  • Do you think it is possible to be only friends with someone of the opposite sex? Would they mind if your best friend was a guy/girl?
Woman Feeling jealousy because of friends of her long-distance partner

If you or your long-distance partner has a friend of the opposite sex, discuss how it makes them feel. 

Many can’t handle the idea of having friends of the opposite sex, so make sure to be on the same page regarding that topic.  

4- Jealousy 

  • Do you ever get jealous? Explain some situations that spark jealousy.
jealousy is common in LDR

Jealousy can destroy any relationship, not just a long-distance relationship. 

If you have trouble managing your jealousy, then it’s important to discuss this with your S.O. and let them know how you feel. 

And if there is anything either you or your partner can do. 

5- Going forward 

  • What inspired you to pursue a long-distance relationship with each other?

If you didn’t plan to be in a long-distance relationship, this is a good question to ask yourself and your long-distance partner. 

Knowing the pros and the cons of the relationship, and what made you pursue it, will solve problems in the long term. 

6- The future of your relationship 

  • How do you envision your future together?
  • What are your short-term and long-term goals for this relationship?
  • How do you see your relationship evolving in the next few months or years?

Whether that’s more visits or a shorter long-distance relationship, always make sure what you’re both hoping for in the relationship in the future. 

READ MORE: How long can a long-distance relationship last without seeing each other

7- Physical intimacy 

  • What do you miss most about not being physically close to each other?
  • How do you stay connected and maintain intimacy in your relationship?
  • Are you happy with your current level of emotional intimacy?
Lacking phyiscal intimacy in long distance relationship

This has to be one of the harshest facts of being in long-distance, especially if your love language is physical touch. 

It’s essential to not neglect such a topic and to be open about it.

8- Tradition 

  • Are there any traditions or rituals you can establish to strengthen our bond?

This is more like a secret code between you two. 

Whether that’s a word you two would have for each other, or it can be as simple as sending a special GIF before sleep. 

Not only does It strengthen your bond, but it’ll help reduce the feeling of being far away. 

9- Trust 

  • What role do trust and communication play in your relationship?

Any relationship should be based on these 2 things. 

If there is a problem with either one, it’s important to discuss this early on to prevent any heartbreak in the future. 

10- Planing to visit 

  • How often do you think you should visit each other in person?
Planning to visit in long-distance relationship

This has to be one of the most important long-distance relationship questions regarding doing visits. 

Ideally, you and your long-distance relationship partner should have a timeline for when to meet. 

Whether you will visit or your S.O. will do. 

11- Surprise 

  • What are some creative ways you can surprise or show affection to each other?
Showing surpirses

Each individual has something that they like during any relationship, and this is no difference. 

Knowing what type of affection you both like, will help plan accordingly for those special moments. 

12- Handling conflict 

  • How do you handle disagreements or conflicts in your relationship?
Handling a conflict-questions to ask in long distance relationship

This is inevitable. 

You’ll have conflict and argument, and it’s healthy. 

But knowing how to handle those difficult times, will help you keep your relationship healthy during that time. 

13- Exploring interests 

  • Are there any hobbies or interests you’d like to explore together, even from a distance?

Couples who have hobbies together stay, stay together. 

It’ll help you find more things to do during your long distance. 

15- Building memories  

  • What are your favorite memories of you being together so far?
Building memories in long-distance relationship 20 questions to ask

Building memories during your long-distance not only strengthens your relationship but also keeps your relationship healthy. 

READ MORE: 13 Beyond Video Call First Date Ideas For Long-Distance Couples 

16- Family 

  • How important is it for you to introduce each other to your friends and family?
Family gather - are you going to meet, questions to ask in long-distance relationship

In any healthy relationship, at one point, you’re going to meet the family of each other. 

Discussing this with your partner will avoid any conflict that might arise regarding that topic.

17- Personal beliefs 

  • Share some of your values and beliefs that are important to you in a relationship.

Each one of us has personal values regarding relationships, even if we don’t realize it. 

It could affect the dynamics of the relationship. 

It could be as simple as doing more calls as part of a healthy relationship, or it could be openness and honesty as one of your core values.

18- Love Language 

  • What are your love languages, and how can you ensure to meet each other’s needs?
Questions to ask in long distance relationship 20 questions

Knowing each other’s love languages will help you understand and connect deeply together. 

If your love language or your partner’s love language is physical touch, it’s important to understand at one point either of you will require more assurance. 

19- Important talk

  • Are there any topics or concerns you feel that still need to be discussed?

You might have talked about everything regarding what you feel is important right now but make sure your partner is having the same feeling about that question.

20- Growing apart

  •  Do you think distance has helped us grow individually?

You’ll grow away from each other, whether that’s on a career level or personal level. 

It’s a fact that you’ll realize with time. 

This is another important question to determine if the long-distance relationship is helping you grow. 

Or, it brings you down. 

What questions can I ask in a long-distance relationship?

In a long-distance relationship, anything can be on the table. 

Whether that’s asking about their relationship, family, friends, or even their long-lost dreams. 

It doesn’t matter. 

As long as you establish good communication and it’s working for both of you. 

Then the type of questions you ask don’t matter that much at this point. 

READ MORE: 17 Long Distance Relationship Question Games for LDR Couples 

Should I talk to my long-distance boyfriend every day?

In short answer, it’s up to you. 

In my long-distance relationship, we mostly talked every single day. 

And no amount of communication is right or wrong. 

As long as you’re both enjoying talking and you don’t feel it’s obligatory. 

Then there shouldn’t be any problem talking to your long-distance boyfriend every day. 

Final thoughts 

Sometimes at the beginning, everything can seem confusing. 

But as you learn to grow into the relationship and develop your communication together, it’ll improve your long-distance relationship. 

Answering long-distance relationship 20 questions to find out if long-distance is for you or to address any problem you might have. 

Either way, these questions will help you figure out the gap you might have in your long-distance relationship.


Hi, I'm Amira, and I've been in a long-distance relationship for four years. I know how tough and fun it can be to love someone far away. I made this blog to share what I've learned and help new long-distance couples. Let's make being far from each other feel a little easier.