Is it okay to not talk to your long-distance boyfriend everyday?

Every long-distance relationship is different.

What works for one couple, won’t necessarily work for you.

When it comes to communication, especially in the first few months, you will have questions about whether is it okay to not talk to your long-distance boyfriend everyday. Or how often should you talk to a long-distance boyfriend? 

And many more. 

So if you find yourself in this dilemma, and you don’t know if that’s okay or not. 

Keep reading.

Is it okay to not talk to your long-distance boyfriend everyday?

Instead of just giving you a vague answer on whether it’s okay to not talk to your long-distance boyfriend everyday, which I know it’s what you most likely want. 

Every relationship is different and your communication with your long-distance boyfriend should be based on many factors (Which I’ll explain later). 

So saying it is okay or not okay to talk everyday with your long-distance partner is based only on your expectations in that relationship. 

Always communicate with your long-distance boyfriend at the beginning of the relationship:

 How often should you talk? 

What are your means of communication? Texts, calls, etc. 

That way, you’ll avoid unnecessary drama when your long-distance boyfriend doesn’t text/call you that often. 

READ MORE: Should you be in a long-distance relationship 

When it’s okay to talk to your long-distance partner everyday 

1. There is mutual interest

This is the most obvious thing yet I see many times in different groups that long-distance couples communicate every day and then one day they just don’t. 

The problem with that is that you need to be upfront about your communication. 

And give it trial and error. 

So, talk as much as you can in the beginning and see if that works for you. 

If it doesn’t, reduce the communication to what feels right. 

Hand holding phone, texting, and open laptop—a moment of contemplation in the question of Is it okay to not talk to your long-distance boyfriend everyday

There is no golden rule, but if you don’t want to be talking every day and then realize that it’s too much for you.

Not only will this break your long-distance partner’s trust and cause problems, but you could also potentially ruin the relationship. 

Start slow. 

If you talk every day, and it doesn’t work for both of you then agree to reduce the communication to only morning and at night. 

Always find what works best for you and your long-distance boyfriend.

READ MORE: Long Distance Relationship Conversation Ideas: Connecting Deeper for New Couples 

2. Time difference is not a problem 

I get it that only some long-distance couples are living in the same time zone. 

But if you’re one of those lucky couples like I was then use it to your advantage. 

The texts of good mornings and good nights just hit different, when you know that your long-distance boyfriend just woke up. 

Even if you’re not lucky with the time zone difference, it’s still not a factor if you should talk everyday with your long-distance boyfriend. 

Set a schedule and agree to communicate daily during that time. 

Always remember that life happens and it could affect how often you communicate with your long-distance boyfriend. 

3. You can talk about anything 

And I mean everything. 

If you just see something casual and you think about your long-distance boyfriend then it’s a good excuse to use to your advantage. 

Your conversation doesn’t have to always be about how was your day and so on. 

You can find any topic of interest to talk about. 

READ MORE: 10 solutions if you’re running out of things to talk about in long distance relationship 

4. Work schedule 

Whether that’s work schedule or school schedule, it’s important to know if your long-distance boyfriend will be available during that time. 

 A busy work schedule, highlighting the challenges and considerations in the question of Is it okay to not talk to your long-distance boyfriend everyday

Sometimes work schedule can be a bit hectic especially if your distant boyfriend works a night shift. 

As long as you know what it looks like with their life regarding work or school it can be easier to manage your communication. 

5. You don’t make it mean anything

I get it.

We get busy in life at one point. 

You try as hard to communicate daily and keep in touch no matter what it looks like around you. 

But there will be a point where you and your long-distance boyfriend won’t just have the time to talk every day. 

And that’s okay. 

woman enjoys a date on a video call

If you don’t make it mean anything when you don’t talk for a day or two then you’re heading in the right path. 

Life gets in the way, and when you’re not around each other challenges are bound to happen. 

I remember when my long-distance partner had to fix his phone and leave it in service for 10 days. 

But it happened and we dealt with it and didn’t make it mean anything about our long-distance relationship. 

Take a deep breath and go with the flow.

When it’s NOT okay to talk to every day to long-distance boyfriend 

1. Burn out

Sometimes talking every day can cause you stress and burnout. 

And that’s one of the harshest facts of being in a long-distance relationship.

If at any point you feel that talking everyday to your long-distance boyfriend is becoming stressful, then it’s okay not to talk everyday. 

female office worker sitting at desk with laptop on it sufferring burnout

Burnout is a natural emotion to feel, especially if that’s your first long-distance relationship. 

So reduce your communication if it feels right with you both and don’t make it mean much. 

2. Personal Space Needs

Another sign to look out for when it’s NOT okay to talk to every day to long-distance boyfriend is if either of you needs some space. 

If you’re going to keep doing long-distance for a while, you’ll need some space from time to time. 

There will be a point where either of you will require that space. 

Approach this with a light heart and love. 

A woman holding hands, conveying the complex emotions of deciding whether it's okay not to talk to a long-distance boyfriend every day

Remember that not talking everyday with your long-distance boyfriend doesn’t mean anything has gone wrong. 

It’s the opposite. 

Not only you or your long-distance boyfriend will grow in what they require some personal space for, but it’ll also strengthen your relationship and your communication later on. 

3. Communication Feels Forced

If your talk every day with your long-distance boyfriend sounds like: 

Hi, 

How are you?

Fine, thanks. 

A woman and man engaged in a heartfelt video call, illustrating the emotional bond in the question of talking to a long-distance boyfriend every day

Then it’s time to back off. 

It’s important in your long-distance relationship that your communication should be natural and enjoyable. 

If it feels forced or it’s obligatory to talk with your long-distance boyfriend, then stop. 

Your long-distance boyfriend will pick up on the energy that you don’t want to talk. 

It’s better to say directly that you don’t feel like talking every day, rather than saying it’s okay but your communication sounds otherwise. 

READ MORE: What kills long-distance relationships? 13 killers with solutions

4. Lack of Quality Time

During a long-distance relationship, it’s tricky to have quality time. 

It doesn’t mean it’s impossible but it requires extra effort. 

There are so many ideas for having quality time with your long-distance boyfriend

But if you notice that your communication is only about quantity over quality, you might wanna rethink your daily communication. 

Just because you’re in a long-distance relationship, it doesn’t mean you have to talk every single day. 

A clock ticking, symbolizing the fleeting moments and considerations in the decision of talking to a long-distance boyfriend every day

Even in normal relationships (Where both partners live in the same city) you don’t find them spending every day together. 

Both of you have a life outside that relationship. 

And it can be hard to have quality time every day. 

5. Independent Growth

It’s okay not to talk with your long-distance boyfriend everyday when it comes to personal growth. 

If either of you feels the need for more time to pursue your goals outside the relationship then let it be. 

It’s important to make time for yourself and do what you like to do outside the relationship. 

Growing independently and away from your long-distance partner is scary for both of you. 

And that’s okay. 

It doesn’t and it won’t change how you feel about your long-distance partner or how your long-distance boyfriend feels about you. 

How often should you talk to long distance boyfriend?

There is no one answer to how often should you talk to your long-distance boyfriend.

Always remember that the quality of your conversation with your long-distance partner matters more than the quantity. 

The key is to find the balance of how often you would like to communicate. 

As long as talking makes you feel more bonding with your S.O. then it shouldn’t be limited. 

Make sure to communicate your expectations with your long-distance boyfriend of how often should you communicate. 

Is it normal to not talk a day in a long-distance relationship?

Every relationship is unique in its way. 

What works for one couple won’t necessarily be the same for you. 

How often you talk can’t determine your relationship direction if you set up the expectation right away. 

There will be days when both your schedules won’t fit and it’ll cause less communication, which is okay. 

Occasional break-off communication is healthy and it doesn’t point out any problem. 

Do People in Long Distance Relationships Talk Every Day?

From my experience in a long-distance relationship for 4 years, no matter how much you would like that to happen as it’s the only way you mostly communicate and get closer, sadly you can’t talk everyday. 

With different time zones, work shifts, and many life updates, not every long-distance couple will be able to do that. 

And it’s normal not to talk every day with your long-distance boyfriend. 

Trust and understanding is the foundation of any healthy relationship, even in a long-distance relationship. 

Set your expectations right away with your long-distance partner to avoid any conflict that might arise when communication is not how you expect it to be. 

Conclusion 

Every long-distance relationship is different so if you think is it okay to not talk to your long-distance boyfriend everyday and you’re both happy with how your relationship is going then go for it. 

I hope that this post was helpful to you and answered most of your common questions about talking to your long-distance boyfriend everyday. 

Please check other posts on long-distance relationships:

Author

Hi, I'm Amira, and I've been in a long-distance relationship for four years. I know how tough and fun it can be to love someone far away. I made this blog to share what I've learned and help new long-distance couples. Let's make being far from each other feel a little easier.