If you’re going through long distance relationship right now or about to start one then learning these 3 harsh facts long-distance relationships will help you determine if it’s right for you. 

I started a long-distance relationship without knowing how it would be, but knowing these hard facts can have a huge impact on your LDR. 

3 harsh Facts long-distance Relationships

Fact number one – you’re alone most of the time 

In long-distance relationships, you’ll be alone most of the time. No matter what the reason you’re apart, you’ll be alone. 

The relationship you have with your partner is just through the screen and it can get really hard over time. 

In the beginning when those emotions build up through the time you start connecting but knowing there will be moments when just texting and calling won’t be enough, is gonna help you to deal with it later on.

Especially, when you’re surrounded by your friends and family, it seems it’s hard for them to understand. 

This is one of the harshest facts of long-distance relationships that you’ll have to face. 

Fact number two – You’ll grow without them 

Face it, Life will continue for both you and your partner. They’ll get promoted or get a new job or a family member dies. 

Those are bound to happen, cause life doesn’t just stop. 

When I got laid off from my long-term job, I went through deep emotional change and I had to do it alone. 

That’s something you’ll not be able to control. 

Understanding this fact will help you to look at it differently and it’ll deepen your relationship with time. 

Fact number three – Trust can be an issue 

Even in a one-to-one relationship trust can be a huge problem not just in LDR. And this one is never about what the other person is doing. 

This is true, most likely your LDR is not your first relationship and if your other relationship failed cause of mistrust or cheating, it’s gonna leave some scars on your next relationship. 

If you have trust issues, it’s best to talk about it with your partner but with long-distance this is a bit different but you’re going to have to trust your partner’s words. 

After all, all you have is what you share throughout your relationship. 

woman yells on her partner due to mistrust-this is one of the 3 Harsh Facts long-distance Relationships

What keeps a long-distance relationship strong?

Before I share how to deal with those 3 harsh facts of long-distance relationships, this question is important to address first. 

It’s also important to find out if a long-distance relationship is meant for you, it’ll not only help you avoid wasting time but it’ll also help you to determine if the person is worth it.

Keeping a long-distance relationship strong requires 3 things:

  • Communication.
  • Trust.
  • Patience.

Those are some of the most 3 factors to keep your long-distance relationship strong. 

1- Communication 

No matter if you text or call once a day or once a week, it’s important to keep that communication going. 

Personally, for me and my partner, we talked every day throughout the day and this worked perfectly fine for both of us. 

As long as you and your partner agree on how your communication should be, it’s gonna make it easier for you both. 

If it needs to be improved, talk to your partner about it, and keep in mind the time zone or your partner’s work/study schedule might be a bit challenging. 

2- Trust 

If you are going to keep calling every single hour when you’re partner is busy and can’t get back to you, this is a huge problem. 

You need to have faith in your partner. When your partner is around you the whole time it can be a bit easier for you to have better trust. 

But with LDR this is different. You need to focus on not only trusting your partner but also trusting that if anything happens and your partner cheats that trust you can handle it.

3- Patience 

Your patience will be tested in a long-distance relationship, it might take 2,3, or even 5 years for you and your partner to be together. 

This is a hard fact of LDR.

It requires a lot of patience to make it work. 

Mine took almost 4 years before we closed the gap, I saw a couple who took 9 years to be together.

No matter how long yours is/will take it’s important to keep your patience on the line. 

How to deal with the 3 harsh facts of long-distance relationship

So to deal with those 3 harsh facts of long-distance relationship, here is what you must keep in mind. 

1- Build trust 

This is essential, especially in long-distance relationships. Building trust takes time and effort. 

If you have a problem trusting your partner from a distance, it’s gonna make it hard for you to continue the relationship. 

From my experience, the only way to build trust is to talk about your concerns with your partner. 

This is gonna help you connect more with your partner and is gonna give you a sense of calm. 

If you still struggle to trust your partner it’s best to start working on yourself. 

Read more: What to do if you dont trust your partner

2- Share the small moments 

Sharing is caring, right? 

When you’re away from each other, things like getting ready to sleep, having breakfast, or simply walking around become the highlight of your partner’s day. 

It may sound weird but those small things can keep you connected when you’re not around each other. 

If you have a hobby or simply doing something for fun, make a video of it and share it with your partner. 

When your partner sees who you are in those moments, it helps them to build trust and connection with you and deepen your relationship. 

you can save your LDR when you learn woman yells on her partner due to mistrust-this is  the 3 Harsh Facts long-distance Relationships

3- Communicate more often

Communicating is important but it’s not just about texting and calling. Communicating is about how you effectively talk to each other and whether it helps you feel connected or not. 

READ MORE: Here is what to do if you’re in a long distance relationship with a bad texter

There are many ways to communicate such as: 

  • Doing video chat. 
  • Sending voice messages. 
  • Actively listen to your partner. 
  • Getting your partner’s attention. 
  • Giving your partner a unique name. 

As you can see it doesn’t fall into one category of just sending texts and doing calls. 

READ MORE: Daily Talk or Not: The Long-Distance Dilemma

4- Plan to visit 

If you don’t have a set date to meet up with your partner at least once, then you doing your LDR more harm than good. 

It’s important to make the effort to meet no matter how hard it is. 

I know it’s not easy, it wasn’t easy for us for so many reasons. From cultural differences to things that are just out of our control, like the Panedmic. 

So I understand how it may feel like it is impossible but putting in the effort to plan to visit is gonna save you one day when your relationship is being tested.

To deal with harsh facts of long-distance relationship its important to plan to visit at least once

5- Do an activity together 

Just because you’re away it doesn’t mean you can’t do activities together. 

One activity I liked to do with my partner was walking and talking, yeah it was the one thing that kept us connecting. 

That’s why you have to find one activity that you both enjoy. In my latest post about what kills long-distance relationships, I talked about some other activities we tried throughout the LDR. 

I recommend bringing up the idea to your partner and looking together at different types of activities you can do. 

And remember to enjoy it together. 

Dealing with 3 harsh facts of long-distance relationship

6- Accept the fact 

One way to deal with the facts of long-distance relationships is to just accept them. 

I know it’s easier said than done. But if you’re truly committed to your partner and understand that LDR is difficult and you’re still in it then you need to accept how it is. 

Being far away from someone you love is not easy, especially if you were together before the distance happened. 

But the only thing you can do is to keep showing up for the relationship and just accept how it is. 

7- Enjoy it while you can 

While it seems counterintuitive LDR is not just all those challenges and heartbreak.

It can be fun as well. 

How you may ask? 

Change your perspective. 

Yes. 

You can spend 1 or even 6 years in LDR and consider it the best thing for both of you. 

Or you can think it was the hardest 2 or 5 years of your life. 

With my LDR I never regretted it and it was the best thing that happened to me, even though it took us 4 years. 

I tried to enjoy the time I had as much as I could and I have grown and evolved during that time, I feel like if I went into the relationship with the mindset I had when I started I think it would take a different route on our relationship. 

8- You only getting stronger 

Kinda following the previous point. 

You’re getting stronger, not just for you but as well as for your partner. 

You might not realize it yet but long-distance relationships have benefits as well. 

Some of them are:

  • You get tough mentally. 
  • You appreciate things easily. 
  • Your relationship with yourself changes. 
  • The way you see the outside world changes as well. 

Once you understand that it has its benefits it’ll help you deal with the hardship that comes with LDR. 

9- Share common interests 

In any relationship, it’s important to have common interests. 

You may not be interested when your partner talks about news (Speaking from experience) but it doesn’t have to be a boring topic for you. 

It doesn’t mean you have to be interested in everything your partner does but being active when your partner shares their interest is gonna get you closer. 

10- Don’t neglect the physical part 

Just because you’re physically apart it doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy some fun time. 

To deal with LDR problems, pay attention to your physical relationship with your partner.

Some couples are not comfortable with the idea. Simply because of the privacy side of using the phone. 

But there are many ways to enjoy getting physical without sacrificing your privacy. 

First things first, if you are into sexting I recommend using the app called Signal

It’s free to use, with no affiliate marketers, and no tracking whatsoever. 

We used it a lot during those *special talks* 

On the other hand, if you want more than just sending steamy texts, I recommend investing in one of those remote-controlled toys. 

I haven’t personally used them but heard lots of great things about them 

11- Invest in relationship 

Speaking of investing, this should be one of your priorities to help you keep your LDR strong. 

Investing isn’t just about money; it’s also about dedicating time and effort to your relationship. I recommend setting aside funds for those moments when you or your partner plan to visit, but it’s equally important to invest in meaningful experiences and shared activities that strengthen your connection.

This could mean investing more time with your partner. 

Investing more in the physical part of your relationship. 

Or investing in finally closing the gap. 

No matter what type of investment you decide to take, it’s important to choose the one that you know the relationship needs the most. 

What is a harsh fact about long-distance relationships?

Lack of physical connection.

Aside from what I discussed so far in this post, this is the harsh fact about long-distance relationships. 

You can try everything to save your LDR. 

You could have the best communication ever, or trust each other deeply but lack of physical connection is not easy to fix. 

While with modern technology today everything is possible, lots of those who are in LDR including me never used that technology. 

So don’t feel bad if you feel that the problem you have regarding lacking physical connection is what makes it hard for you both. 

What is the hardest thing in a long-distance relationship?

Lack of communication can be the hardest thing in a long-distance relationship. 

Especially if you’re in a completely different time zone or your schedule is different than your partner’s. 

If you don’t work through an effective way to communicate with your partner, it’s gonna lead to more problems later on. 

Remember that time differences and different schedules are common issues but that doesn’t mean that nothing can be done about it. 

Take it from this blog of 2 couples who had 7 hours of time difference and still made it together.  

What hurts most about long-distance relationship?

Knowing that you could try everything and still fail and that’s okay. 

Every LDR couple including me and my partner had their breakdown no matter what’s the reason. 

Recognizing that some discomfort is okay can save you from heartbreak or staying in an unfulfilling long-distance relationship.

ldr fails but it gonna be happy ending as well

Why do long-distance relationships fail?

I feel this deserves its own blog post but it still relates to what I have discussed in this post. 

Most LDRs fail due to many reasons, so what could be the reason for one LDR to fail can be a completely different reason for you. 

But long-distance relationship fails for this common reason which is not putting in the effort to understand how to get through it together. 

On Facebook groups I have been part of, I see people post and share how their LDR failed and most of the time is because their partner never put in the effort to work through the challenges that many long-distance relationships go through. 

Most people decide to give up. 

This is why most long-distance relationships fail. 

Final thoughts 

Sometimes realizing what could potentially fail your long-distance relationship, especially those 3 harsh facts long distance relationship will save your relationship with your partner. 

But this is only one part, you need to learn how to deal with it not just you but with your partner as well. 

You could try everything but fail and that’s okay but as long as you’re aware of the problem, the problem is half solved. 

Author

Hi, I'm Amira, and I've been in a long-distance relationship for four years. I know how tough and fun it can be to love someone far away. I made this blog to share what I've learned and help new long-distance couples. Let's make being far from each other feel a little easier.